Russell Howard

I am going to see "Shaggy Take Two" at the Beck Theatre very very soon.

Ahh, I have such fond memories of that theatre, I watched my first Indian film there and it was the subject of many school projects and trips.

I havenae seen it for ages, will be strange going back to the old country, the "ghetto" from which I came.

Plus, tis pretty cheap seeing him..15 quid! BAR-GAIN!

I shall try getting a pik-cha with him.

Twas by pure chance that I found out he was performing "near" us, my brother was looking at his website and it was on there..wahey!

This is all.

Cleanse, Tone, Moisturise

So I used to do this religiously when I was younger.

Granted, it was twice a week on a Sunday and Saturday morning but I always did it, without fail.

On a side note I think I am slowly becoming addicted to commas, I put them in everywhere, as you can see I have already used FOUR in four lines, this must stop.

Oh, make that six.

Funny how I am only grammatically loose with comma's and not any other grammatical invention. Imagine. If. I. Put. Full. Stops. In. Everywhere.

Anywho, back to the cleansing.

I did it all the time and I never saw any results, this was when i was about 14ish.

Come my 15th birthday I got a job and thus had to stop.

Since then I did it on the odd occasion until just this past week when I read that the skin slows down when you hit 25, I panicked and realised I only had 1.5 years left of good natural skin.

So, since about Wednesday, I have been cleansing and moisturising twice a day.

I normally moisturise and exfoliate in the morning but now I do it in the evening too and I have added toning with a PROPER toner.

I haven't yet started using dermalogica but I will do when this current Body Shop bottle runs out (twas an "impulse" buy during lunch and the Body Shop was the closest shop, I didn't fancy spending a bomb in L'Occitane and then finding that the cleanser was crap).

My skin now feels remarkably smoother and softer after only three days, but I can't put on night moisturiser all the time as my skin gets greasy, I may have to invest in one for greasy skin, even though I only get the greasies on the T Zone.

Anywho, the husb has suggested that I abandon the "keep your skin young" approach due to the post below.

I shan't though as I love how my skin feels now, I must cleanse for this morn however and moisturise up.

Football is on soon.

Got any ID?

So Soominder is suffering with a sore throat.

I had to get him some Strepsils and some sweets yesterday from Sainsburys.

I wandered on in with only the money, my discount card and my Nectar card.

Found the goods and headed for the checkout, it was pretty busy considering it was a Friday evening.

Anywho, got to the checkout and the lady behind the counter asked me for ID.

I am not 18, nor am I 19. I am a 23 year old married woman.

I had no ID and she wouldn't sell me the Strepsils as I needed some form of ID.

She was very apologetic so I wasn't mad, just slightly embarassed.

Anywho, I was pretty surprised that 1)you need ID for medicine and 2)she wouldn't believe that I was over 18.

Granted, I was wearing jeans and a hoody but even still, I don't look that young do I?

I evidently must as this isn't the first time it happened.

I told her that I was 23 years old and after asking me what makeup range I used, she let me go.

Ain't no tricks here bay-bee, I do nothing special..I am just perfick.

Anywho, I made it out to the car where the husb was waiting, I gave him the sweets and told him the palava re. the Strepsils.

He went on in, SANS ID and was served.

How is that fair?

Seriously, TWENTY THREE!

Gayness.

We have two reciepts, one timed at 6.57 p.m and one timed at 7.08 p.m.

I made sure she put her refusal in the refusal's book as that is the procedure there (I, of course, would know..not because I have been refused it before, but because I too was employed by the man when I was under age...which, according to them, could have been yesterday).

Double U, Tee, Eff

Life for murder plot grandmother


A grandmother who ordered the so-called "honour killing" of her daughter-in-law has been jailed for life.
Bachan Athwal and her son Sukhdave, 43, arranged the murder of Surjit Athwal, 27, who vanished during a trip to India in 1998, the Old Bailey heard.
Bachan, 70, and her son, both of Hayes, west London, were found guilty of murder in July.
Bachan must serve at least 20 years in jail and her son was jailed for a minimum of 27 years.
Judge Giles Forrester told them: "The pair of you decided that the so-called honour of your family members was worth more than the life of this young woman.
"You, Bachan, were head of that family. I have no doubt you exercised a controlling influence over other family members."
Victim had affair
During the trial jurors heard Surjit, who was originally from Coventry, vanished "off the surface of the earth" after attending a family wedding in Punjab with her mother-in-law, almost nine years ago.
Prosecutors claimed Bachan, who has 16 grandchildren, ordered Surjit's death at a family meeting after finding out she had been having an affair and wanted a divorce.
Bachan vowed a divorce would could only take place "over my dead body".
Jurors heard Bachan had boasted that she had got rid of Surjit by getting a relative to strangle her and throw her body into a river.
It was years later that frightened relatives went to police, giving them the evidence they needed to charge Bachan and her son.
Speaking after the sentencing Surjit's brother said the conviction and sentencing has been "a long time coming".
"Surjit's murderers have finally been punished after escaping justice for eight-and-a-half years."
Public inquiry call
He said the investigation had broken through "lies and official lapses which have obscured Surjit's murder for so long".
While praising detectives he said "the long journey of Surjit's case has exposed serious inadequacies in policing practise and government policy in the UK as well as in India where Surjit was murdered".
He called for a public inquiry into his sister's death and that of Banaz Mahmod whose father and brother were found guilty in June of her murder.
Det Ch Insp Clive Driscoll, who led the case, said the sentencing marked the end of a long road.
He said: "We have worked closely with Surjit's family, the defendant's extended family and the Sikh community to secure this conviction.
"For Surjit's family and friends, the pain of losing her in such a cruel way will continue, but I hope they are comforted by the fact that her killers are now behind bars."

This is the stupidest thing I ever heard.

How are you going to come to another country and then punish "your" kids for acting the way the people in the new country act? How can you tell them to behave the way you behaved back home when they haven't been there?

Also, this woman had taken Amrit and thus had to be totally free of sin etc..and she is a murderer..another thing I don't understand, getting a divorce is shameful yet murdering someone is not? In this day and age divorce is commonplace, even amongst us brownies and people STILL think that murder is the order of the day.

Also, this is yet another incident of a boy being totally mothered, Punjabi boys (I can't speak for Hindi ones) are totally mothered, EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE FOR THE BOY IS DONE BY HIS MOTHER/SISTER/SOME FEMALE. It is instilled in him that he need never lift a finger as everything will be done for him..that happened here and as a result he didn't grow a pair and tell him mum to fuck off when he could have sorted something out himself. STOP MOTHERING YOUR KIDS WHEN THEY PASS THE AGE OF 18. My mum tried it with my brother but I stopped her, my dad was mothered but my mum made him grow a pair and he gets on fine on his own now. I know of guys who are 40 plus and they cannot use a microwave or a cooker and it is not because they are dumb (two of them are doctors..ha ha, no surprises there and one is an investment banker) it is because they have always had someone there to do it for them.

Plus, "apparently" the girl they killed lived a western lifestyle, she smoke, she drank and she cut her hair. I do all three of these things (well, not so much puffing as it stinks but if I did, my parents wouldn't murder me). They knew this when he married her and then decided it wasn't good enough.

This story really makes my blood boil, how the fuck is killing someone more honourable than giving them a divorce? I know exactly why they think this way because they are afflicted with that Punjabi/Sikh disease of "What will society think?"

Fuck society man, why the hell does it matter so much what they think of you? Does society do anything for you? We are getting more and more secularised as every day passes..we don't need to lean on society anymore. Does society pay our bills? No. Does society have to live with the beats that we endure? No.

If society shut its mouth and actually lived the life of a beaten and abused woman for ONE day they would realise that it is far easier to judge someone that it is to live the lifestyle that they are trying to escape from.

I realise it sounds like I am going a bit mad but bare with me, the rants get better.

Ring Ceremonies and People You Know AND hair

The title could read slightly differently had I put a comma in someplace, I shall let you figure out where (though, in all honesty, it's not that hard to figure out).


So today me et Soom have to go to a "ring ceremony" which is simply an engagement party but I suppose some Punjabi folk need a way to justify having a drink and a dance.


My parents were meant to go but are too lazy (their words) and thus, the gauntlet has been thrown down to me and I had to accept due to the fact that I am the only child in this country at the moment.


Anywho, why can't they just call it an engagement party? Me and Simon discussed this all the way home and realised it must be because it enables the fresh folk to realise what the party is for, though I don't see the point of that, it's not like they have to take a gift, all they do is go, eat, drink and be merry.


We have decided that we aren't going either as I need to put shoes into boxes and plus I just generally feel lazy. I should admit the real reason, we spent most of last night drinking and chatting shit (reminds me of when we were 17, well me 17 and him 18).


Despite this, I have straightened ALL of my hair..I should take some time out to explain my marvellous hair cut (Laura at Kevin Joseph is a genius, as I said before). There are many layers of my hair thanks to my stylist and although my hair is curly, they come out excellent whether I leave it in it's natural state or if I straighten it. I can straighten the top layers and tie the rest back so it looks like I have a bob, I did this yesterday. I can also straighten the top layers and two "pieces" of longer hair so I have yet another different hairstyle (a bob with two graduated bits). Anywho, my hair is growing like mad, it is already up to my bra strap..again! Its great because I essentially have two haircuts in one and when they are blended together, nobody can tell.




Anywho, that is enough about hair for today.




The next sermon is about people you know who are funny. I don't mean funny as in Russell Howard funny (he is hi-larious), I mean funny as in strange.




I used to go to an all girl's school, we were integrated with boys when we hit 16 so you can imagine the hormonally charged tension in the classrooms. One girl I had the misfortune of knowing always had to speak to boys for some strange reason, I think it was just to prove that she could? Anywho, she hounded all the boys and they eventually started speaking to her. This wasn't the end of her madness, she couldn't handle it if someone was better at something than her. That reminds me, I must remember to end this piece with something about Louis Vuitton. I remember one Monday in my second year at sixth form, I drove there, parked up and was walking into the class where all my mates were. It was about half two (I was in this late as on a Monday I only had one lesson and it was in the last period). I have notoriously curly hair and when I was younger it was far thicker than it is today (thank you very much GHD, though that instrument has been a blessing to me) and thus more curlier and frizzier. I was just getting educated about what shampoos to use and how you had to use them continuously to get a result, I had been using Frizz Ease for years but it never works as well as it works the first time. I was also finally understanding how to blowdry hair straight..tis strange to think that 5 years ago, not everyone had a hair straightener and thus us curly haired girls suffered with crappy blowdryers. As usual, I digress. Monday morning I washed my hair and was determined to straighten it, so I set about the routine at about 12.30 (it used to take an age back then, mainly due to the hairdryer, my technique and my styling skills). I just about finished at 2.00 and legged it to sixth form in the car. I got there and everyone was praising how straight my hair was, the girl in question saw it and said "wow, good job" but I could tell that she was jealous as she had this look in her eye which she always has when someone is acknowledged for something that she has been doing all along.

Come the next day, she came in with her bum length hair trussed up over her shoulder just so everyone could see how straight hers way, but instead of people complimenting her, they told her that she should control the flyaways and keep it to the back like I had mine yesterday.

Stupid cow.

Another thing, she always tried to compete with her best friend who wasn't the prettiest thing in the world but her heart was always in the right place and she is very clever (I have no animosity towards her at all). This mate always had designer clothes and designer handbags (before it became "fashionable" to do so) and thus, the jealous girl always tried to copy her but failed.

I saw her the other day clutching a Louis Vuitton purse and there is something funny about someone who looks a state and is wearing super cheap clothing clutching a designer handbag. Now I am no snob, I wear cheapish clothes but only when I am not at work, and I don't clutch my designer handbags when I am doing this, only when I am at work do I look truly professional.

It is as if she is trying to become her best mate but that will never be because the friend carries herself with some class and always has done.

It may seem that I am hating her for no reason, but I have many a reason, the girl is a bitch and I shan't be talked down to because she made my life hell and I am not allowed to say anything back.

I saw her in KFC once when I was with a mate of mine and all she did was stare..rude.

This is all.

The Weekend's Work

Here we are..no pics of the flooring that I had to lay as tempers were fraying early on.




The shell of one side..this was about half six on Saturday




This was about half nine-ish, both sides had been made and rails had been drilled in.




Ta-da..this was the next morning, before I had to take everything out again.




The floor and the wall that needs repainting..the chest of drawers I!! made a few days beforehand.




The sliding doors..I couldn't get them fully into one shot..




Clothes back in, drawers in too..



Better picture, the top drawer has scarves and gloves in it at the moment but that shall change when I get the correct accessory, I am considering getting a compartmental box thingy for the gloves though.




Closeups of my handiwork





Wonker..I cannae even hold a camera straight.



It feels great to know that I made that, from scratch..I made the flat bits of wood turn into a cupboard, though putting the sliding doors onto their tracks was hardest.

Now that I have the cupboard in place, I can get super organised as I shall be getting the accessories from Ikea this weekend.

Tis funny how having such a large cupboard (which, by the way, fits perfectly into the space I had there) lets you realise how few clothes you have, my old cupboard was groaning for more space but here I feel as if I could shop and shop and still have space.

Sex

Why is having a lot of sex normally a reason to call someone a slut?

If you like it, do it! Nobody is called a slut because they go out a lot, are they?

I don't see what the difference is?

Also, why is oral sex "dirtier" than cunt sex?

I really don't understand that..if you're engaging in sexual behaviour, surely it should be judged on a level playing field.

Why is giving head seen as worse than having sex?

Strange.

This is what we were discussing at work today, we came to the conclusion that I am a slut and would welcome a department wide sexual free for all.

I didn't retaliate as the guy who sits opposite me and the dude who comes in to fix the AC are both fucking gorgeous and I wouldn't say no.

11th Sept/Cheap Shoes/Regrets

This day six years ago, the towers fell.

Everyone seems to remember where they were and what they were doing on this day.

My brother was at home with the two bob bits and was in the bog when the announcement was made, he emerged to see my mum watching Fox (why no Sky News woman?!) and the anchor shouting how they would get the people who did this to them..six years on, they still haven't.

Anywho, I myself was trudging around London with my friends of the time (whom I DO miss from time to time..well only two of them but then I remind myself that it is not my fault that the friendship went bad). Trudging around the posh London uni's for some open day about all the university colleges of London (one which I would eventually end up at).

I got a free newspaper from a dude which I thought was strange as nothing in my knowledge at the time was free. I got home and after initially thinking that there was only one tower, I was informed by my brother (who, after listening to the news all day was up on all the conspiracy theories and whatnot) that there were actually two.

What got me in years to come was how normal the trains were on the way home that day. Unless I didn't realise that they were being delayed. Anywho, to my knowledge they ran normally as I got home in an hour (which is the normal time to my old house even during good Tube timing). I am surprised that the tube didn't close down totally as I assume that this is what would happen if it were to happen today.

Even now when I come out of Canary Wharf station in the morning and I see an aeroplane, I still panic slightly as I don't personally want to die (and it is not because of how people will cope without my existence but it is because I have a lot of shit I want to do before I die and also that I shall be damned if I let a fundie kill me, I want to die doing something fun and original..)

Anyway, onto shoes. I have never worn cheap shoes, it is against my religion (that and cheap underwear). Today for some reason I decided to wear my cheapest and cleanest pair of shoes (cleanest because the bottom has seldom touched the ground due to the cheapness). They killed my feet, I had to buy new shoes at lunchtime damn it! That got me to thinking about regrets. I surely regret buying those shoes, but what is a life without regrets? Is it perfect? I personally don't think so, but then again, I am the person who believes that life is only good because of the shit you need to go through, only as a result of the bad can you truly appreciate the good. I have a tonne of regrets in my life as I am sure everyone else does. The person who claims to have no regrets in life has either not lead a life or is a liar.

This is all from the profound mind for today.

My excitement filled weekend

So, Friday was a day filled with excitement.

I think that's the right word.

It was all go in the Panesar/Ross household as our new Samsung CHESTED fridge was set to arrive.

It came at about 10.30-ish and I was instructed to leave it unplugged for 8 hours.

I couldn't wait and so I read the manual which told me that you could plug it in as soon as you cleared all the plastic out, this was done and the fridge was switched on. It had to be left for a couple of hours so I went shopping for food to store in my new pride and joy (did I mention that it lets out both ice AND water?! You shall have to pardon my excitement as I have never bought a brand new fridge for my house, though I have experienced dispensing fridges/freezers at my parents' house).

Anywho, I returned from Sainsbury's and I swear that the car was actually dying under the weight of the shopping bags I had in there.

I was getting ants in my pants waiting for the fridge to be ready so I decided to sit by it with the work laptop out, doing some "work" (playing Solitaire and Free Cell).

Two hours flew by and it was time to store stuff in the fridge and BOY is that fun. Everything went where it was meant to be (this has never happened in a fridge of mine and thus I was doubly chuffed).

Everything was put away, the husband even came home from work and was amazed that I had managed to fix it myself (sexy git! Er..I mean sexist git!..Yeah, that sounds better).

Went out on Friday, had me some fun and came back home.

Saturday morning, Ikea, true to their word, delivered the base to my cupboards at the ungodly weekend hour of 8.30.

I will say one thing for Ikea, I love them, simply because when they inconvenience you, they deliver for free which is something that I know MFI do not do.

Anywho, to fit the cupboard in place I had to finish some of the laminate flooring off, this was fun!

Me et Simon decided to just click it in with the chest of drawers on top. As with most simple plans, this did not work and we had to remove the drawers and move the chest. Then I!! had to lie on the bed with my head hanging down and click the pieces in UNDER the bed.

Anywho, did that, put the drawers back in and then got to fixing the cupboard.

Needless to say it took us until 6pm today to finish them off and they are marvellous fucking things. I can actually sit in one cross legged and I also had to get up a ladder and do the heights bits (thank you VERY much you feminists).

The sliding doors are the best things since sliced bread and could keep someone with a brain the size of a 5 year old child amazed for hours (thus, the novelty will not wear off for me for about 10 weeks).

All that needs to be done now is for the walls to be repainted (the purple ones) and the underside of the bed to be floored then I am done.

I am quite proud of myself seeing as I had most of the legwork myself and it was pretty easy.

Now all I need to do is go crazy and get it super organised inside..JOY!

The painting is easy as nothing much really need be moved now, just put sheets down and Bob will indeed be your uncle.

I seriously recommend Ikea to anyone, the stuff is not expensive and it stands the test of human nature, the instructions are very easy to read (there is no writing, just pictures..why Simon enjoyed them so much) and if you get stuck, the people on the phone are very helpful.

My dad can't believe that my DIY skills are on a par with his.

Skin

I had a blister on my foot and the skin has just come off, isn't it surprising how soft new skin is? It is truly amazing.

That is my insight for the day.

I have been cleaning out my cupboards today in anticipation of the frame arriving at Ikea (*crosses fingers, legs and eyes*).

I got out three full black bags of stuff that I don't wear, thus I have one empty bridging unit and three empty drawers, well two drawers and one shelf.

So, I have to put the stuff back but that will be done later.

Er..that's all from my fascinating life.

Also, I may have to restart cardio soon and I need to send my graduation letter off.

The Fridge

Friday night I got in and fancied some ice-cream.

I went over to the freezer to get some of it out and it was like a big lump with water swimming around it, now take into account that this is triple chocolate ice-cream and thus would take an age to defrost (damn you Haagen Dasz).

Anywho, I had been saying for a few days that there was a funny smell in the fridge though I put it down to some lemon juice I put in there (as it smelt a bit lemony..duh).

I thought nothing of it and came downstairs the next morning to make some tea, only to find out that the milk was chewy (no, I didn't taste it, the consistency was that of a chewy nature).

Anywho, I discover that horror of horrors, the fridge is broken!

So, I woke my one week housemate up and off we trudged to find a new fridge.

We found one and it is coming this Friday.

The fun didn't end there.

I had to cook everything in the fridge and freezer so for the past few days we have been eating like pigs, I am at the stage now that I am eating only to survive, not because I like the food.

I have eaten so much chicken and pork over the past few days that I do believe I am breaking out in the meat sweats.

I have one cup of coffee every day and that is it.

I never ever thought that I would hate eating, but I do and it is because I am eating everything at once (through necessity, not through choice).

Funny how it was a dream at once to eat whatever I wanted whenever but now (as with most things) the reality is far worse than the dream.

Anywho, the fridge and freezer are finally empty and no food shall be purchased until Saturday. Normally I would jump at the chance to be wined and dined though that wont be happening now (I can just picture the relief on Simon's face..I'm no longer cheap).


In the past few days, I have made AND eaten the following:

• Chicken and mushroom pies


• Fish fingers


• Turkey steaks


• Chicken breasty things


• Yet more chicken


• Yet more chicken


• Pasta (times 5 or so)


• Pizza


• Indian food
• Sausage rolls

It doesn't sound like a lot, but trust me, it IS a lot, especially for TWO people.

Anywho, it is a Samsung dealy (was it a coincidence that the dude who sold it to me was also wearing a Chelsea kit under his uniform? However, he doth have a modicum of respect from me due to it NOT being the Samsung kit but the Cools kit). It also dispenses water and ice (thus, no more waiting around for ice to be made) and its a mother of a thing. I happened to say in the store that you could store two/three human bodies in either side (fridge or freezer), a statement which was met with a few funny stares from other customers/the dude who served us.

Anywho, that is it methinks, all the food is finally finished and I am kinda glad that I don't have to eat anything.

Idiots and Sue Townsend

http://img473.imageshack.us/img473/5286/metrotattoostory1200ee3.jpg

Lol, what a dickhead.

This is why you research stuff before you get yourself permanently inked up.

Now to Mrs Sue Townsend, this woman is leg-end.

She writes in a way that I can only hope to write in, she writes about things that effect everyone but her writing is anything but boring. I fell in love with her at the age of 12 (my age, not hers) after reading about Mr Adrian Mole. I remember seeing Adrian Mole on the TV when I was too young to understand it and I must say that the casting for the most recent outing was excellent as that was exactly how I imagined him to look.

Now Mrs Townsend makes no bones about the fact that she has no formal writing qualifications but I feel that it is this fact alone that makes her writing so accessible to everyone, if you write about what the masses experience, it will be a hit. I am currently reading The Confessions of Middle Aged Woman and it is hilarious. She mentions two authors in this book who take themselves far too seriously and I feel that this is a curse on modern society. People seem to think that to be educated and intelligent, you need to read the great classics..the great classics were new books at one time or another and there are no doubt a million people out there who have read them to look refined and educated when in actual fact they have no idea what the book was about.

This happened to me once, I decided to read War and Peace because my dad made it sound interesting. At this stage in my life I was going to uni FIVE days a week, so that is about 2 hours of commuting a day. I knew that this exericse was futile when on the Friday of the third week, I was still on page 2 of the book.

One of the only classics that I have enjoyed reading is by Zola, and everyone knows this.

Also, back to Sue, for a lady who says she has no formal qualifications, she can sure write an entertaining and funny book..and that is what I want from a book. A book need not be clever or riddled with large words for it to be a good book. A good book is the kind that you like to read, in my case this varies from books about poisons to books about ragged trousered philanthropists.

That brings me onto another point, just because you read a book in a few days does not make it a good book. I am currently reading The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists and I have been doing so since last November. This book is without a doubt one of the best written books that I have come across, the reason I have not yet finished it is because the book is simply that great.

This reminds me, this is the first time in ages that I have actually sat down and blogged, must be because I have nothing else to do, the husb is sleeping (jetlag) and I have done everything that needs doing.

Anywho, has anyone ever started reading a really good book and then stopped? I started reading Life of Pi and it was excellent, now it's kinda boring as the boy is just stuck in the sea, I don't really fault the author, it must be the situation that bores me.

Oh well, I shall finish of Sue and then get back to Pi, or failing that, read some of the other 13 million books I lugged home from the library yesterday.