People being funny

Why do some people switch and then call you paranoid? I don't get it. I'm talking to my mate at the moment and usually I can crack jokes with him etc..and get some funny replies whereas tonight he's being really odd..like really serious. I said something like "you're so transparent" to which he usually says something and tonight he just said "yeah..thanks".

I've done the usual asking if everything is ok and he's said yes, if something is wrong I'd rather he just told me if something was wrong instead of being a twat.

This is all.

Trainspotting

I watched this film last weekend after not having seen it since I was at school and I'm sure it has gotten better with time.

Me and the Mon watched it and considering the fact that I can't watch people being injected and the fact that this film was about junkies, I did quite well.

Anyway, it got me thinking how people first get into smack, I mean Renton seemed quite well adjusted and not at all like the smack addled stereotype that I've always been exposed to.

It was quite sad in the film that the one guy who got into heroin because his bird left him was the one to die and even that was from eating cat shit and not the needle sharer's disease.

The guy who died was called Tommy and I assume he stayed in his flat throughout and by the end of it his flat was a shit-hole, went from being pretty decent from the time to being stripped bare with only a matress and a football.

What struck me about the film was how happy they were within themselves, just shooting up and floating around doing nothing apart from that..

So, I was just wondering how/why people get into smack in the first place..I like the way the film showed how happy they were as smackheads but also showed the decline of their teetotal mate and how it was him who suffered the most..

Also, Sick Boy looks IDENTICAL to my mate Mark, I'm surprised I never saw it when I first started working with him..

I'm reading the book to the film at the moment and it's written in Scottish dialect and I have to speak it out in my English in my mind..There's a great line in the book where Renton says that when someone is high, they don't want to talk to anyone and they don't want anyone to talk to them and he thinks that that could be a reason why people take it, to get some silence..

Safe.

Fixing the computer

Alright ladies and gentlemen?

Had a week off work during which I have done absolutely nothing..until today that is!

My plan for the week was to bum around and then go out with my mates from school tonight, I fell victim to a rogue runny nose (I wasn't aware that I had reverted back to being 5?!) Anyway, as usual I digress.

I stayed at home and decided to fix this computer up, now it's been dodgy for a while now and I haven't really used it as I've been on the laptop but me and Simon had enough and he decided he would fix it when he got home from work today. I decided to man up and fix it from scratch myself and I did so. I don't know what he was so scared about, it's bloody easy! You just pop in one disk, read Trainspotting, pop in another disk, continue reading, pop in the BT broadband disk, carry on reading.

Add all the software you need, e.g. msn, iTunes, Mozilla etc..and you're done.

So yeah, I fixed my computer from scratch today.

Reduction of stock

Alright?

I'm still on my mission to reduce all my stock before I buy anything new but it is hard when all the shops have offers on. For example, I have bought the following recently despite having some at home already:

• Cleansing wipes. I had finished my original Boots stash (which by the way were crap, but then what do you expect for about £1.50?) and I'd heard that Biore ones were on offer in Superdrug and I did need some of their excellent nose pore strips. So, I picked up two nose pore strips and two jam packed cleansing wipe packets. I have still not opened these as I have been given a packet of L'oreal wipes to use. That brings me onto my next issue, I went to Boots and they had L'oreal wipes on half price so I bought two packets. Now I have gone from having no cleansing wipes to having 5 packets..
  
• Shampoo/conditioner. I bought some more shampoo as I thought I needed some, despite having some TBS banana shampoo at home already and some Herbal Essences. It was too good an opportunity to pass up as they had the usual BOGOF offer on so I got two. Conditioner wise I had a voucher from Boots so I bought some Mark Hill conditioner for frizzy hair which totally did nothing AND the design of the bottle needs some work as I had to take the whole of the top of as the lid was jammed stuck in the top part.

Hmm..that's been it really, bought some moisturiser which I really needed and it turned out to be crap, am going to get jojoba oil as it's been recommended by someone who knows what they're doing.

On the plus side I have only 3 body moisturisers left which is impressive considering that this time last year I had about 20.

Quite impressed really as I have only a few face washy products left, one face moisturiser, a lot of conditioners, two/three shampoos and no shower gels have been bought by me since November, woo woo.

General musings

Well my trainee at work is sitting his first ever practicing certificate and I never truly realised how much work was involved with being a supervisor, I should really thank mine for all this crap he did for me, bits he gave me that I assumed he just had lying around the place when in actual fact he'd been typing them up for me.

Anyway, I'm helping my trainee get his practicing certificate and so have been making copious checklists and stuff for him, I have the following grounds to cover:

• property law: freehold sale of registered, freehold sale of unregistered, leasing, rent review, lease management and sale of part
• business law: EU law, competition, employment, company, partnership, taxes and insolvency
• litigation: civil and criminal

I'm battling through, in the space of a week I have finished partnership, tax and property, criminal litigation should be finished today as I hit upon an excellent source of information, civil may be done by Monday which leaves the rest of the week for the remainder of business.

I've been a recluse for the past week but I don't really mind, well I do mind now but the fact I have a gorgeous man who comes home to me every day does ease the pain of not having a life.

The gorgeous man in question plans on taking me out later on this evening so it's all good baby baby.

non obstante veredicto

Let's have sex!

Family politics

Hey..

Those of you who know me and read this blog will know that there are a lot of family politics in my family.

Two things have happened this past week which make me laugh/annoy me.

1)GCSE results.

I did my GCSE's in 2000 and got very decent grades, my uncle at the time laughed and said they were because I chose easy subjects (I chose History, Sociology and French because I was doing two languages). His daughter got her results and got C's and D's and he has told the whole family that she got A's (he only told my dad the truth because he trusts him..which is pretty dumb because no matter how chummy you are with your brother/sister, your kids come first). Anyway, he laughed at my easy subjects, his daughter got bare passes in subjects like Art, DT and Drama..hello? Rumour mill is going mad in our family and apparently the daughter cried as soon as she got home becuase she was so pleased with her great results..I'm not convinced by that because EVERYONE gets funny when they get them, it doesn't take you time.

2)People using and abusing you.

Last weekend I was at my parent's house avec Mon. Now we had a desi festivity and we missed one set of guests who were coming around. They came the next day. There are four in this family (mum, dad and two girls). One girl has been ill for ages (I'm sure it is attention seeking and don't have the inclination to go into it now, basically every year she stops eating for a few weeks and then starts again), so far it has been about 5 weeks. The mother and oldest daughter came around to see us last Sunday. Now Mon has a habit of coming out the shower with just a towel on, my mum and dad do not mind this because they expect him to treat the place as his own. He came out of the shower and walked down the side bit in our yard and my cousin caught a glimpse of him (he wasn't trying to show himself off..there's a first!). Both mother and daughter were very stoney faced and I made a joke and told my mum I wouldn't sit with my cousin as I didn't like her (I say this all the time and she takes it in jest), this time she turned around and said "Well, I don't like you anyway". So I got a bit annoyed but thought I'd say something as we were sitting there in total silence, I asked if they had outfits made for a desi event that we soon have and the daughter replied with a single "no". Now I was really mad but didn't show it (I'm an angel, ain't I?!) So I sat there in silence and they finally left.

Fast forward to Tuesday, I get a buddy buddy text from said cousin asking me the same question that I asked her, I haven't replied and don't intend on doing so either. The sensible half of this relationship (one Monska) told me to leave it as I shouldn't just be there for people to talk to when THEY feel up to it when I am always nothing but nice to them. So I have left it. I asked a third party/fourt party about this and they said the same. If I treated my cousin the way she treated me that day in public she'd have a field day going on about why I've got attitude etc..but fuck it, she can say what she wants. If you have problems at home, leave them there, don't fucking take it out on me. When I have problems I never get mad at you when you have nothing to do with it so why do you think I deserve it from you?

I am back home today (had to help mon pere with something) and I have been to my grandmother's house where my uncle was with my cousin (brother of aforementioned aunt), his sister came around too (sister of aforementioned aunt) and they made plans to go see the aunt in question, they tried to invite me along but I was adamant I was going home and that is what I have done. They keep thinking that something is wrong but I'm not going to spill because they will go tell her because that's what you do in my family, snitch like a bitch. I'm not some kinda fool who will go to someone's house when they have clearly been so hostile to me, I'm not going to be friendly towards them until I get an apology and for once I will stick to my guns! I'm sick of being messed around by them.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

PS Simon smells.

(I quite like the quote mentioned below)

Ubi dubium ibi libertas

Urban Decay Primer Potion Depotting

Whilst I listen to one of my all time favourite songs, I must also post this because I'm annoyed at certain companies.

Everyone who uses eyeshadow will know that it fades and creases all the time, companies like UD and Too Faced (TF) have made products which are aimed specifically at keeping your eyeshadow on your eyes looking the way it looked when you applied it. Now I have no beef against the product itself, it is one my Holy Grail products as it does what it says and is cheap! (£9.50..says she who spent Boots points on it) Cheap considering the fact that you can buy similar face primers which boast to do the same but don't.

Anyway, the packaging is like a genie shaped bottles and I recently saw an article on another blog called clumps of mascara and the lady who owns the site cut up her bottle of UDPP and tonnes more came out, so I decided to do the same..I've been a bit slow recently but deciding to take the bull by the horns today and below are the pics..

My surgical tools and the specimen in question, note in further pics you will see two other knives..

Cutting the tube open at that point was easy, notice how much product is left and would have been chucked had I not seen that website *cue some angry words*

Wand has been smeared around the pot in which the product will go..

Product being scooped out and put into new tub..

Empty half tube of UDPP..

Both top bits after having been scooped and cutting off the bottom part (which was a bitch to cut)

Bottom bit cut open ready for scoopage, this was really hard to cut as the bottle is very thick here so I had to use a knife with ridged teeth, I was considering just scooping from the top but am glad I cut it because look at all that product.

The end result. I've kept the wand because I liked it but I don't know what I will use it for.

...

Ismon, words will never ever be enough.

Being in love with someone, having them love you more than you ever thought anyone could is the best feeling I have ever experienced in my life..ever.

I don't know why I feel so lovey dovey today but I just do, mainly because Simon has a brain in his head which functions when mine goes to pot, you keep me sane and make sense of crap when I'm not up to it.

I remember being back at school and girls were going on about boyfriends being the last thing they think of at night and first thing they think of when they wake up and I was so jealous because I knew I'd never get to experience anything like that..and I still haven't..I SEE the mainframe before I go to bed and it's the first thing I see when I wake up.

I have only ever dreamt about Simon ONCE since we have been together..I've dreamt about John about five or six times but Mon you know where you stand.

By the way, fancy reading every single word I write but never ever saying anything..wally.

I call you every name under the sun but God forbid if someone else was to do the same (and you know that when I say it, I mean it).

Someone asked me the other day how much I believe in the saying "You will never find someone to love you until you love yourself" and I agree with that 100%, I used to think I was such a dog when I was at school (I still do now) but somewhere along the way I learnt that I'm not all bad and that I am quite a nice person who has some sense in her head and that I could be a much worse person. Then Mon came along..

This essay here doesn't make much sense but the one person who understands my scattered way of thinking will see how it connects together..

There's no guaranteed way of knowing when you find the one, you have different ways of knowing but I know for sure that you have a secret smile reserved for that one person. My best mate Kam smiles at her husband with a smile that I have never seen before and she says I do the same with Mon..funny how she never noticed it when we were at school but I will agree with her, he makes me smile and I feel truly happy, like nothing can touch me and I'm esctatic at the end of the night that I get to take him home with me and keep the feeling.

I think I might take you out tonight and try and grope you down that dark alley by the sea.. :)

Nihil dicit

Hair stuff

Before I start the main body I'd like to say one thing.

I tested out a tester of Almay foundation on my cheek, it was too light (will give it to my mum or use it in winter) and then I used my Clinique toner over it, now my cheek is really warm..what's that all about?

Anyway, back to the main message...remember about this time last year I wrote out a list of all the shampoos I had in my cupboard so I could see what I had and get rid of the bits that were nearly finished?

Well, thanks to the damned credit crunch and having just bought a new car, I've been forced to do the same again but for everything I own (such as body lotions, shower gels etc..), this is only because I buy stuff that I don't need and come home to find that I needed to buy conditioner and have bought the matching shampoo. Also, I am a sucker for anything new on the market and have decided that enough is enough and that I will use up everything I have before buying something new.

I've been doing that (sans list) for the past few weeks and have been going ok with it but now I'm really up to speed and things are being thrown away a lot faster, also a visit to my aunt's house also helped. She is the same as me and will buy anything new that comes out, just to see how it works. I was going to buy the L'oreal Beauty Tubes mascara but used it at her house and have decided against it, instead I will buy the Lava eyeliner pencil from Too Faced as it is the first proper pencil eyeliner which applies like liquid (something I've been looking for for ages). I am also going to chuck out most of my cheapo eyeshadows as despite my UDPP keeping the colour on, I've realised there isn't much pigment in them anyway as they colours are always grey-ish, I am going to invest in a Bobbi Brown pallette once the one my aunt gave me has run out as they colours are excellent and they stay on.

Anywho..here is my list of shampoos and conditioners..

(I'm quite happy with it as I do use these shampoos regularly whereas last year there were some I hadn't used for time)..

1. Twisted Sister conditioner for curly hair
2. Revlon Flex clarifying conditioner
3. Tresemme deep conditioner for dry hair
4. Tresemme deep conditioner for curly hair
5. Aussie 3 minute miracle frizz reducer
6. Boots lemonbalm deep conditioner
7. Boots henna deep conditioner
8. Aussie 3 minute luscious locks treatment

Those of you eagle eyed readers will see that I have more than I did have last year but in my defence I didn't include deep treatments in last years count (despite me buying most of them since making the list).

I have thrown away a lot of shampoo that I have bought in the year so the list could have been longer, the only thing I had last year and didn't mention was the Black by Design deep conditioner which is no longer of use to me as my hair isn't damaged so I may use it as a shaving aid or something.

As I'm here I might as well list the other bits I have (face washes), so here we go..

1. Doctor Barefoot's clean face enhancer (LOVE IT)

I've recently finished a TBS tea tree oil face wash and when I first got it, it had grains in it but over time they have turned to mush (despite the smell staying strong, I hoped it would fade), I had it since I was 17 and finished it just last weekend, the bathrom cupboard is rammed full of crap I've bought so tis only fair I finish it, I am not going to buy any more body scrubs and will use the St Ives as replacements as they work very well .

Too shattered to add a quote after that mammoth essay and I think I will put something a bit closer to home under my posts..a legal phrase (in latin of course!)

Pacta sunt servanda