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Ismon, words will never ever be enough.

Being in love with someone, having them love you more than you ever thought anyone could is the best feeling I have ever experienced in my life..ever.

I don't know why I feel so lovey dovey today but I just do, mainly because Simon has a brain in his head which functions when mine goes to pot, you keep me sane and make sense of crap when I'm not up to it.

I remember being back at school and girls were going on about boyfriends being the last thing they think of at night and first thing they think of when they wake up and I was so jealous because I knew I'd never get to experience anything like that..and I still haven't..I SEE the mainframe before I go to bed and it's the first thing I see when I wake up.

I have only ever dreamt about Simon ONCE since we have been together..I've dreamt about John about five or six times but Mon you know where you stand.

By the way, fancy reading every single word I write but never ever saying anything..wally.

I call you every name under the sun but God forbid if someone else was to do the same (and you know that when I say it, I mean it).

Someone asked me the other day how much I believe in the saying "You will never find someone to love you until you love yourself" and I agree with that 100%, I used to think I was such a dog when I was at school (I still do now) but somewhere along the way I learnt that I'm not all bad and that I am quite a nice person who has some sense in her head and that I could be a much worse person. Then Mon came along..

This essay here doesn't make much sense but the one person who understands my scattered way of thinking will see how it connects together..

There's no guaranteed way of knowing when you find the one, you have different ways of knowing but I know for sure that you have a secret smile reserved for that one person. My best mate Kam smiles at her husband with a smile that I have never seen before and she says I do the same with Mon..funny how she never noticed it when we were at school but I will agree with her, he makes me smile and I feel truly happy, like nothing can touch me and I'm esctatic at the end of the night that I get to take him home with me and keep the feeling.

I think I might take you out tonight and try and grope you down that dark alley by the sea.. :)

Nihil dicit