Gordon Ramsey

This man is a joke, professionally.

Not only is he a joke, he is also a sell-out of the highest degree.

I never understood why he didn't like Ainsley Harriot and Antony Worrall Thomson, now I do.

I remember back in the day when he had his first programme on TV and he was seen as a real fresh face, a break from the staged cheffery (tis a word I swear), he swore like you do when you're under pressure and if you fucked it up, he told you as much.

Then he got his other show, then he got famous.

I remember him saying back when he was unfamous that when he became famous he would never sell out and be in ads for certain cooking utensils and that he would never write any books like the two gentlemen mentioned above.

Seems to me that Gordy should have kept his mouth shut as this is exactly what he has done, I have seen him in an ad for a very masculine kitchen commodity..teacups. He has also released numerous cooking books and he still admonishes the two gentleman above (and many others) for doing the same.

Maybe next time Gordon, you should keep your mouth shut, but oh no, God forbid you do that as you are all about the showmanship, the "I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about me, I swear, I'm a hard man..who cooks".

His swearing might have been refreshing back in the day when cooking was full of politeness and Delia Smith and her cardigans but now his jig is up, it is clear to anyone who is human and above the age of 14 that he swears for effect, it is no longer believable, I liken his show to watching films like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, whereby a mockney writes something which he thinks is a true representation of gangster life, nobody, not even gangsters swear that much, it is so very clearly overly written and comical (thus, why I love these films so).

Gordon presents himself as such a hardman by the flagrant use of swearing, I think it is a cover for him being a sensitive man in reality. I have been watching the F Word as I have been forced to watch it and Gordon is unable to do the following "hard man" things:

• (I have waited an age to use a bullet point list so I feel I am justified in using one to get this point across)
• DIY, he couldn't even nail felt to a fucking roof and even I can fucking do that, and I'm a fucking girl! (see, I'm getting into Gordon mode)
• Shoot a deer, he acted the big man when it came time to do it and he even brought the carcass of a deer into his restaurant which, may I just point out must go against every single health and safety regulation there is. When it was time for action, he couldn't man up
• Other things shall be added once I remember or am reminded by Simon

Accents

Why is it suddenly the in thing to have an accent?

I have nothing against people with acents, it's not their fault they can't speak properly, I kid, I kid.

What bemuses me is how people from London now pretend to have accents when they have been born and bred in London, tis like reverse Guy Ritchie syndrome, something which has rubbed off on his wife.

A prime example of this is that dude from The Kooks, he is from London yet sings as if he is from Cornwall, because tis cool to have an accent, I can't help but think he is trying to form his band into a second Arctic Monkeys, even though Alex Turner sings in the same accent as which he speaks in.

Also, why is there such a need for people in the music business to be "common", these people are posh by definition (went private school etc..) and yet they talk as if they are common folk, and then they have the cheek to tell us to be ourselves and be happy with what we are. Case in point is Miss Lily "I am the biggest attention whore in the world" Allen. She went to private school, thus can speak properly, UnLyK D rEsT Ov Uz and she still decides to act like a chav, then she tells schoolkids to be themselves and not turn into Cherly Tweedy clones, one thing I will say about Cheryl, atleast she does not advocate one thing and then act in a a different way herself. I saw Lily on This Morning and she spoke perfect English to the presenters yet, proper talking, pronouncing her T's and everything, yet when she talks to music programmes she puts her chav voice on. Why does everyone think she is a breath of fresh air? She wears trainers and a dress, there is nothing great about that, she doesn't look good, she looks like an idiot, atleast her arch rival Cheryl looks semi decent in her stuff. I remember when she released Smile and she said she would never be an attention whore like Cheryl, funny how a few months down the line she is more known for her opinions on other people and her habit of getting pissed than she is for her music.

Anywho, tis up to her, she is the one lying to herself.