Fixing the computer

Alright ladies and gentlemen?

Had a week off work during which I have done absolutely nothing..until today that is!

My plan for the week was to bum around and then go out with my mates from school tonight, I fell victim to a rogue runny nose (I wasn't aware that I had reverted back to being 5?!) Anyway, as usual I digress.

I stayed at home and decided to fix this computer up, now it's been dodgy for a while now and I haven't really used it as I've been on the laptop but me and Simon had enough and he decided he would fix it when he got home from work today. I decided to man up and fix it from scratch myself and I did so. I don't know what he was so scared about, it's bloody easy! You just pop in one disk, read Trainspotting, pop in another disk, continue reading, pop in the BT broadband disk, carry on reading.

Add all the software you need, e.g. msn, iTunes, Mozilla etc..and you're done.

So yeah, I fixed my computer from scratch today.

General musings

Well my trainee at work is sitting his first ever practicing certificate and I never truly realised how much work was involved with being a supervisor, I should really thank mine for all this crap he did for me, bits he gave me that I assumed he just had lying around the place when in actual fact he'd been typing them up for me.

Anyway, I'm helping my trainee get his practicing certificate and so have been making copious checklists and stuff for him, I have the following grounds to cover:

• property law: freehold sale of registered, freehold sale of unregistered, leasing, rent review, lease management and sale of part
• business law: EU law, competition, employment, company, partnership, taxes and insolvency
• litigation: civil and criminal

I'm battling through, in the space of a week I have finished partnership, tax and property, criminal litigation should be finished today as I hit upon an excellent source of information, civil may be done by Monday which leaves the rest of the week for the remainder of business.

I've been a recluse for the past week but I don't really mind, well I do mind now but the fact I have a gorgeous man who comes home to me every day does ease the pain of not having a life.

The gorgeous man in question plans on taking me out later on this evening so it's all good baby baby.

non obstante veredicto

...

Ismon, words will never ever be enough.

Being in love with someone, having them love you more than you ever thought anyone could is the best feeling I have ever experienced in my life..ever.

I don't know why I feel so lovey dovey today but I just do, mainly because Simon has a brain in his head which functions when mine goes to pot, you keep me sane and make sense of crap when I'm not up to it.

I remember being back at school and girls were going on about boyfriends being the last thing they think of at night and first thing they think of when they wake up and I was so jealous because I knew I'd never get to experience anything like that..and I still haven't..I SEE the mainframe before I go to bed and it's the first thing I see when I wake up.

I have only ever dreamt about Simon ONCE since we have been together..I've dreamt about John about five or six times but Mon you know where you stand.

By the way, fancy reading every single word I write but never ever saying anything..wally.

I call you every name under the sun but God forbid if someone else was to do the same (and you know that when I say it, I mean it).

Someone asked me the other day how much I believe in the saying "You will never find someone to love you until you love yourself" and I agree with that 100%, I used to think I was such a dog when I was at school (I still do now) but somewhere along the way I learnt that I'm not all bad and that I am quite a nice person who has some sense in her head and that I could be a much worse person. Then Mon came along..

This essay here doesn't make much sense but the one person who understands my scattered way of thinking will see how it connects together..

There's no guaranteed way of knowing when you find the one, you have different ways of knowing but I know for sure that you have a secret smile reserved for that one person. My best mate Kam smiles at her husband with a smile that I have never seen before and she says I do the same with Mon..funny how she never noticed it when we were at school but I will agree with her, he makes me smile and I feel truly happy, like nothing can touch me and I'm esctatic at the end of the night that I get to take him home with me and keep the feeling.

I think I might take you out tonight and try and grope you down that dark alley by the sea.. :)

Nihil dicit

General Stuff

So my secondment at tfl has come to an end but I'm being relocated to another sector within it.

Finally bought some Clinique makeup today, well skincare..my skin was getting really dry and I was so embarrassed when the lady said it's because I hadn't exfoliated in a while (for shame!) but I bought the moisturiser which came with two free thingies and I wasn't a sap who just saw it and got it, I actually used it and took it.

The lady who served us asked if my "friend" wanted anything for his girlfriend..heh. Well my skin does feel much nicer now so hopefully it works, also, as mi madre is going to India I will ask her to get me some full sized bits as it is cheaper.

Now onto my problem with my YSL stick thingy (the Touche Eclat), I got given a shade 1 and I need a shade 2 or 3, nobody does it so I've been round the houses, tomorrow I will have to go to Selfridges and get it from there (I hope they have it, if they don't then it's another airport shift for my mum).

This fucker on the way home nearly whacked my brand spanking new car so I had a few choice words with him whilst Mon drove like a demon to catch up with him, excuse me but how are you going to nearly hit me and then have the fucking nerve to swear at ME?! Oh ho, matey boy chose the wrong person to mess with, I told him to get out of his car if he was such a hard nut and he apologised..fucking wanker, if you can't drive then get your sorry arse off the road..wanker.

I think that's it, I might start adding photos to my blogs because it's just writing so do find a few attached below, they're not of much, just things I see and pics me and Mon snap around le house..





This one makes me laugh because it wasn't strategically placed or anything (despite looking like it has been, but then if I was going to pose it up wouldn't I have cleared all the other stuff out of the way? It's the two great loves of our lives, mine is the album, his are the nuts (as well it should be I suppose).



This one and the one below were taken at my parents' house, I asked Mon to hold the camera so he decided to take covert pictures of my non existent bum.

Camera wrestling lead to this one, I'm not consciously showing my leg off, it was warm and we tried to test the shutter speed but that descended into chaos and somehow this one was taken..vey good on the old anti-shock.

I clocked on what he was doing re. the butt shots when he took this because he forgot there was a window in front of me through which I could see his reflection so as boys are adept at spinning lies, he told me he was trying to picture my hair..yeah righ!

Mr Simon Ross

This is the name of my husband and the owner of the sexiest body I have ever seen.

He is the sexiest fucker alive (well..bar John but I shall make do, hehehe).

I shouldn't really go on about how great he is as if he were a bastard I wouldn't have married him but he truly is a leg-end.

I love him more than anyone can even begin to comprehend, I would die for him if it came to that (though I hope he'd step in and convince me not to..hopefully he would be naked whilst convincing me because that would help a great deal).

We went to get a new car this morning and I nearly got run over..this is when I realised he was willing to injure himself/die for me (now this might be something that most women expect from their men but the amount of men who would actually do it is a lot less than those who say they will), he got in the way of the car before me, he came bounding out of the showroom and the car whacked him on the knee..the thing that made me get all funny was the fact that if I had been hit by the car, it wouldn't have been a life threatening injury but he still felt it his port of call to protect me. Then the dickhead driving the car got out and I gave him what for..that's what you call teamwork..trying to injure my husband, DOES HE MIND?!

Ahhh..MON I *SOMETHING* YOU..love is a crap word to describe how I feel about you and the feelings you rouse inside me just by being..not being you, or being there, just by your very being. I struggle not to cry when you leave me and go somewhere for work (even if it is in the same country) and you may call me sad but you know you'd get a slap :)

Also, I am aware that other people read this blog too but this one post is for you Simon and you alone. I think it might form one of the parts of that letter I told you I'm still composing (59 pages!)

I know a lot of people think it won't last and it's just a teenage fad (even though we aren't teenagers anymore and we never dated as teenagers), as I tell you..let them think what they wish..they don't know us and they dynamics we have between us, they are jealous because they are insecure about something in their own lives, I know this shit never ever gets to you because you know how tight we are even when I'm pissing you off and you're shouting your head off at me..it's in those moments I know you *something* me because only those closest to me shout at me that way..because they care. How long has it been now? 2000 I believe it was, it will be 2009 in seven months time and has anything shaken it? Yeah, a lot of shit has but we man up and come through it every single time.

You fucking crack me up man..you know I only swear about a few select people on this Earth and you're lucky you're one of them. I'm not going to say anything of that crap about me being lucky to have you because I'm not, it was hard fucking work! Those on the outside might think I'm a bitch and you're too good for me but then why are you still here? Why do those who have no clue think they know the most? I'm a bit hungry actually..must eat something! (Well, duh). I do as much for you as you do for me as I know this because you've told me as such so they can cram it with walnuts..uglies.

Apart from the making me laugh and making my existence on this Earth quite a pleasurable one you are ALWAYS there to offer me information or sarcasm (often at the wrong time but I wouldn't change ye). You understand EVERY SINGLE WORD that comes out of my mouth, even when I mumble whilst eating or when doors are closed, this is a feat in itself as I have a penchant for making up words but you are somehow always one step ahead of me which is how I think it should be.

My personal sounding off board is what you are and I'm fucking thankful that you listen to every stupidness that passes my lips and that you wait patiently for the genius that comes out once in a blue moon..I love the fact that I can say as many stupid things to you as I want and you will laugh but not in a mean way. You have the patience of a saint when it comes to me, even when I push it..lesser men get pissed off but not thou!

I can see why whilst I'm writing this, reading the FT..funny how a certain mixture of flesh, bone, muscle and hair brings me so much hapiness (ONE P!). You make me far happier than I ever thought I could be and for that I am truly thankful..and you can see that I'm tearing up so I shall have to make an excuse but you already know why I'm covering the screen with my hair..which barely comes past my shoulders..I never claimed to be smart!

I love the way how when I'm cold in bed you warm me up by putting your cold feet on my bare legs (git!) or opening the window..but I love you for all you do.

I am amazed by your brain and how you know so much, being a lawyer by trade you'd expect me to know a lot too but your knowledge far outweighs mine (no matter what you say..I am so jealous of your mind..but now I own it vicariously, hehehehe..confuse him with the lawyer speak!)

I think that's it for now..if I find more I will add it on.

Rest assured that I don't need a million paged book to write about how fucking perfect you are because we all know that girls want quality over quantity *ahem*, so even if I don't fill all the pages out, the truth could still be documented without you losing any of your allure, you tart!

Scientists and the intimacy of human bodies

I have always wanted to know more about science, to be able to discuss it at length with people who understand it. My man Simon (hehehe) is a science and maths whizz and he can have these discussion and I will not lie, I am jealous. I wish I had the brain to comprehend science (and he in turn wishes he had the brain to comprehend the law but to me the law is easy, if I can get it, anyone can..I KNOW the same is not true of science).

This is why I was getting a stiffy when I saw the ad on the tv for The Independent and their fortnight long science made easy booklets, I have missed out on the first two but ordered them from the website (part of the money goes to charity, I'm not saying that so people think I'm a good person, I'm saying it because it is like killing two birds with one stone..two get educated for the price of one).

Anyway, I got yesterday's and I tested Simon on it and to his credit he knew everything in it, I even had a discussion about Charles Darwin with my mum on the phone last night whilst I was loading the washing machine and she was ironing. I love how by doing one small thing you can connect with people so close to you, we would never have had that conversation had I not gotten into those tiny books.

I decided last night that I would take the book with me on the tube to work this morning but I got late and couldn't find it so I had to read my vampire book.

The rest are coming and I am very excited as I am finally understanding things better. Simon has been taking the piss out of me for it, he is home with a cold today and he asked me to pick up The Metro for him because he wants to "expand his mind"..the exact answer he gave me when I told him why I was defecting from The Times to The Independent for a few weeks..damn him.


Also, talking of Darwin, this is the discussion I had with my mum, how did he decide one day that we came from monkeys? Why was it monkeys and not another animal? This is why I would love to be a scientist because you can think of all wacky things that just might be true..everyone back then shunned him and some people even do it now, he must have been a renegade to think that we came from animals and not God..amazing.

Next topic: The intimacy of a human body. This is nothing pervy (which will come as a surprise to all that know me). I love the feeling of being able to come home after a stressful day at work and cuddling up to Simon, knowing that his is the same body that fits mine so well, where my head finds its way to where it belongs. No matter what has happened to me that day, the second I fall into that space, everything is at one and the world is great again. Knowing that I can draw a picture of his body with my eyes closed and get EVERYTHING in the right place is a great feeling and I am grateful for him and the piece of mind his existence gives me.

I think this is all.

The Post Xmas and New Year Slump

I never understood until today why this time of the year is so depressing.

Well I say today, I mean last Friday. I went to stay at my cousin's house for the first week of the new year and only when we were driving back home did we realise how bleak and grey January really was. I think it is one of the worst times to be alone, I was surrounded by people I loved on that journey home and even I felt a twinge of depression.

It's funny and equally sad how quickly people go back into normal mode after Christmas, two weeks ago it was Christmas Eve and there was definitely something festive and cheery in the atmos, now two weeks later everyone is back to normal.


It took me 23 years to realise why this time of year is so depressing, the "excitement" of Christmas (which for adults means stuffing your face and getting pissed as a fart) has well and truly gone and we are left with nothing to look forward to where the whole country can bunk off collectively. Sure you get birthdays and parties but it feels different because you can't share your antics with people. It sounds strange but even people on the tube are nicer around Xmas time and I am sure that pushing and shoving is down by about 40%.


I'm back at work today and I feel so depressed man, even though it is kinda sunny outside (it is still freezing mind) and the husband isn't too far away either. I'm just thinking, if I feel this depressed, how must the children feel? But then when I was a kid I never ever got a January slump, we were back to school showing off our new toys that we got for Xmas.


I feel depressed even though my life is peachy by standards, I have the sexiest husband in the world, I have a decent job, I have no Xmas debt and things are looking up on the promotion front but still I feel a twinge of sadness (it's probably because I know I can't bunk off work early and use Xmas shopping as an excuse).


Is this sense of depression what the shepherds envisioned when they saw the stars in the sky?


Man, roll on summer! Though it seems like it was only here a few months ago, which it was..I sometimes wish that there were more seasons in the year.

Monday Afternoon Randomness

So it's the start of another working week. I'm back home this week as Simon comes home on Saturday and Heathrow is closer to here than to my house.

Anyway, I've got a lot to say today methinks but I'm not really sure.

On Saturday me and Akash went to some finance lecture thingy and then we went off to find AD, the amazing thing is, we, well I saw a girl with a bag from that shop and I TOLD Aykash to follow her but would he? No.

We bumbled around went to two Lush stores (one gave me a sweet, one didnae..gits), off to Muji where I was amazed by the wooden dinosaurs, they should have had a wooden snake, I could just hear the double entendres sliding around in my head for that one. Try as we did we couldn't find AD, shall have to Google it up.

Got some magazine from the finance fayre (is that the right spelling?) which had the dude who started Wikipedia in it, I salue that man, Wiki is the first port of call for ANYONE.

Three-ish weeks left til Xmas and the shoppers are out in force, I'm doing all my shopping online, there are only 4 people who are getting gifts which I have had to go out and get and they know who they are..those lucky cunts are worth my time and pedometre mileage AND they are getting more than one present too.

I'm listening to The Masterplan by Oasis and do you think we are all part of a master plan? Do we all play the role we have in life because it leads us to greatness or others to greatness? I don't really agree with that, you make your own way..you can come from the crappest circumstances and become everything you wanted, I think that having a bad/poor background helps as you strive to never have that kind of life yourself whereas if you're born into luxury you get used to it and you haven't suffered the worst.

Anyway, Saturday was a great day, went shopping in the morn and to that finance lecture and then came home, ate, then went out dancing the night away.

What also makes me laugh is when people only read books that have won prizes because it makes them look like they have their finger firmly placed on the literary pulse. These are the people who muddle through even when a book is shit. Read what you want to read..also people who only read classics because it makes them look refined and educated..WHY?! I've only read two "classic" texts which I loved..The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists (which I am still reading more than a year on) and Therese Racquin (I think that's how you spell it) by Emile Zola. Apart from that I read whatever I might find interesting.

Also, in Roll With It, the Gallaghers say that you should "Say what you say, don't let anybody get in your way"..I think that's the motto of my life along with "God gave you a mouth..use it!"

My body feels young but my mind is very young

I've been buying a lot of electrical stuff recently, got this computer and an epilator and a third thing that I can't remember.

The keyboard does as it wishes, the space bar doesn't always co-operate as I'm not used to pushing a skinny.

Simon is in America and is there for two more weeks.

I miss him too much, it's like a part of me is missing, I can't seem to function as I normally do, everyone has noticed it in me, it's not good.

I feel to cry out because I have no sounding off board..HURRY UP AND GET BACK HOME YOU!

This is all for now.