She's a maniac, maniac on the floor

I haven't posted here in ages and I only realised this today.

Anyway, this post is nothing short of an exercise in ego massaging.

I got my practicing certificate results today.  I don't like the way they do this, you do the exam in May, get results in July and then do more in August and get those results in October, why not just do all the exams at once?!

Anyway, I've passed all mine with a 0% margin of error.  Call me egotistical if you will but that doesn't sound half as good as being 100% right, even though both mean the same thing.  I'd rather people say "you're 100% right than say well you're 0% wrong".  It's the use of the word wrong that I don't like because 1)women are never wrong 2)lawyers are never wrong and thus when logic prevails, women lawyers are never wrong.

Anyway (third time I've used that word in this post, you'd never think I passed my year 9 English SATS with the grade of exceptional performance but that's by the by..English GCSE was A* by the way, I'm not one of those who fizzle out once the important exams kick in), I'm super chuffed with myself seeing as last night I was convinced I hadn't passed.

MUST.HAVE.MORE.FAITH.IN.ONES.SELF.

Ta ta

Urban Decay Primer Potion Depotting

Whilst I listen to one of my all time favourite songs, I must also post this because I'm annoyed at certain companies.

Everyone who uses eyeshadow will know that it fades and creases all the time, companies like UD and Too Faced (TF) have made products which are aimed specifically at keeping your eyeshadow on your eyes looking the way it looked when you applied it. Now I have no beef against the product itself, it is one my Holy Grail products as it does what it says and is cheap! (£9.50..says she who spent Boots points on it) Cheap considering the fact that you can buy similar face primers which boast to do the same but don't.

Anyway, the packaging is like a genie shaped bottles and I recently saw an article on another blog called clumps of mascara and the lady who owns the site cut up her bottle of UDPP and tonnes more came out, so I decided to do the same..I've been a bit slow recently but deciding to take the bull by the horns today and below are the pics..

My surgical tools and the specimen in question, note in further pics you will see two other knives..

Cutting the tube open at that point was easy, notice how much product is left and would have been chucked had I not seen that website *cue some angry words*

Wand has been smeared around the pot in which the product will go..

Product being scooped out and put into new tub..

Empty half tube of UDPP..

Both top bits after having been scooped and cutting off the bottom part (which was a bitch to cut)

Bottom bit cut open ready for scoopage, this was really hard to cut as the bottle is very thick here so I had to use a knife with ridged teeth, I was considering just scooping from the top but am glad I cut it because look at all that product.

The end result. I've kept the wand because I liked it but I don't know what I will use it for.

...

Ismon, words will never ever be enough.

Being in love with someone, having them love you more than you ever thought anyone could is the best feeling I have ever experienced in my life..ever.

I don't know why I feel so lovey dovey today but I just do, mainly because Simon has a brain in his head which functions when mine goes to pot, you keep me sane and make sense of crap when I'm not up to it.

I remember being back at school and girls were going on about boyfriends being the last thing they think of at night and first thing they think of when they wake up and I was so jealous because I knew I'd never get to experience anything like that..and I still haven't..I SEE the mainframe before I go to bed and it's the first thing I see when I wake up.

I have only ever dreamt about Simon ONCE since we have been together..I've dreamt about John about five or six times but Mon you know where you stand.

By the way, fancy reading every single word I write but never ever saying anything..wally.

I call you every name under the sun but God forbid if someone else was to do the same (and you know that when I say it, I mean it).

Someone asked me the other day how much I believe in the saying "You will never find someone to love you until you love yourself" and I agree with that 100%, I used to think I was such a dog when I was at school (I still do now) but somewhere along the way I learnt that I'm not all bad and that I am quite a nice person who has some sense in her head and that I could be a much worse person. Then Mon came along..

This essay here doesn't make much sense but the one person who understands my scattered way of thinking will see how it connects together..

There's no guaranteed way of knowing when you find the one, you have different ways of knowing but I know for sure that you have a secret smile reserved for that one person. My best mate Kam smiles at her husband with a smile that I have never seen before and she says I do the same with Mon..funny how she never noticed it when we were at school but I will agree with her, he makes me smile and I feel truly happy, like nothing can touch me and I'm esctatic at the end of the night that I get to take him home with me and keep the feeling.

I think I might take you out tonight and try and grope you down that dark alley by the sea.. :)

Nihil dicit

Jezza Paxman

I love this man.

Not only is he an intellect, but akin to all intellects that I have the joy of knowing, he takes the piss out of anything and his sarcasm is always on point.

I used to be the only 12 year old at school who watched Newsnight and it was because of him that I did so, he has this excellent way of delivering news with his own cynical spin on it. I remember the time the beeb made him do the weather during his show and he simply said "rain in the north, bits of less rain further down". This is why the man is a leg-en, no messing about.

He is similar to another man I love, Mr Jon Snow, he is HILARIOUS. He not only gets the news across in a way that I enjoy, his dress sense is also very snappy..tie matchy with socks..bad. Once me and my Mauritian accomplice went to HOF and I was in heaven because not only did I see JS socks, I also saw FL NAKED (well, he had pants on) on FOUR lift doors..I had a boner for the rest of the day. Heh, I remember when the Pope died and JS said that he would be back at the Vatican in a few years time, bringing in another Pope as this one wouldn't last long (due to him being the oldest of the Pope candidates)..bad.

Anywho, I love JP because of how he has reacted to the recent problems of the BBC, they are making billions of quid worth of profits and they say they have to cut programmes back. That is a lie! I can't be the only person who has noticed how flash their pre-programming things are..the stuff that says BBC1/2 and the person who announces what programme is on next, it doesn't need to be that fancy, CUT BACK ON THAT! Why is it that they never do the easiest thing? Also, I am happy that they weren't able to increase our license fee by yet more money..serves them right! Thinking they can take us on a ride and make us pay through the nose for crappy programmes and repeats of stuff that is shit. They need to repeat the following shows:

• Bottom
• Red Dwarf
• The Krypton Factor
• I shall think of more