Hypocrites

I always spell that word wrong.

Whilst I am here, ain't it a boon figuring out what pants to put on? Annoys the hell outta me sometimes.

I need to moisturise my face with my new moisturiser which kicks arse but alas, my skin is getting super super dry (funny that it was DOVE which made it dryer). What will become of me?! I cannae moisturise twice a day!

Anywho, just straightened my hair for the first time after it was cut and although it doesn't feel as soft as when she did it, the hair has come out far choppier than that and I loves it, my stylist girly is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad..I recommed Laura at Kevin Joseph to anyone.

Anywho, more shall be told about the coiffeurs later.

Back to the subject of today's sermon...HYPOCRITES (AND LIARS)

There is one huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge liar in my family and you can tell it is he for even Pinocchio is jealous of his giant schnozz.

He lies so damn much and thinks that people believe him, funny how unsatisfied he is with his own life that he has to make up lies about other people..wanker.

I.e. I was asked something recently and I said yes and he came out and said "Oh, she asked my kid the same thing", this is a blatant lie as the child is only 6 and cannot be asked the question.

Also, somebody asked for a favour and he has sworn flatout that he will not help, though we all know that come Tuesday, he will have broken his promise.

I think one of the reasons that he lies is to make himself look good, i.e. make everyone else hate a certain person and not want to aid them, then he can step in like the hero.

Another thing, he is adamant that his children shant leave their beds for overnight guests when all the other kids in the family had to do this for his gargantuan wife.

Anywho, in time he will learn, though God has dealt him a pretty crap hand (only if you are desi will you understand this when I say he has 4 daughters). Despite even this, he still doesn't learn.

I seriously don't understand why people lie this much, HOW CAN YOUR OWN LIFE BE THAT BORING?! I don't have enough time to fabricate stories about MYSELF, let alone other people..and plus, why would I want the extra headache?

Basically, if you're going to suck up, then do it, why suck up to one person and then tell another person that you hate the arse of the former?

Idiots mayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyn

Girls

Are funny creatures.

Although I am one of them, I don't really behave like a girl (well, a typical desi girl, hehehe).

I don't know if this is true of white, black, yellow, orange, purple and pink girls but tis definately true of the brown girls I have had the misfortune to know in the past. The white folk I know find it hard to understand how strange desi girls really are and that I only have one brown friend who is a girl.

Anyway, back to the matter at a hand, looking at it from a young G's perspective, desi girls are strange when it comes to guys.

Most of the time they cuss guys about how they try coming over to them and chatting them up and thus are very "Miss Independent" citing that they do not need guys to have a life, yet the SECOND a guy with money (aka his Dad's car) and "class" (he wears Rockport so he MUST have class as dem garmz ain't cheap) pays them attention, they are all over him like a rash and their territory has been marked (well, only if the guy likes being pissed on). From that time onwards, guys are the best thing since sliced bread, they can do no wrong, funny how fast these girls forget their modern day suffragette-isms, simply because they are getting some.

Then comes the time when the guy is pissed off with the constant phoning to see what he is doing, the constant need to ring and find out how he is every 5 minutes and the constant need to see him to make sure he isn't trying it on with another bird (because trust is only one way in a desi relationship you see, the guy MUST trust the girl, yet the girl can be as suspicious of the guy as she sees fit).

So the guy wants to break it off because she is too possessive (never! Where the hell did he get an idea like that from?!), the girl becomes either stone faced or totally loses all self respect for herself and begs him to stay with her, which he won't do because he is getting bare gash at nex manz yard, init geez. Anywho, guy ends it, girl is upset.

Girl is in depression for days and days as she thinks this was the real thing, when in reality she is more angry at the fact that he won't be spending his money on her and she won't be getting any either.

Guy however, is out fucking other women, girl sits at home and starts getting angry at what has happened to her.

Girl remembers that she is Miss Independent and once again goes on her suffragette missions and tells the world that she doesnae need a guy to validate her existence.

Then some fly boy passes her driving his dad's car, blasting some sik chooons from his standard stereo and we are back to stage one as described above.

What I don't understand is, if you are going to paint yourself as a man hater, then stick to that, every time I have gotten out of a bad relationship, the love for men has always been there (but maybe that's because I am easy and have no morals, unlike the girls in the story mentioned above), so I'm not lying to myself like these girls are. Tis funny how in this day and age, a fast car (which isn't even HIS) can get a girl's knickers off quicker than any concoction of words, actions or drinks.

Gordon Ramsey

This man is a joke, professionally.

Not only is he a joke, he is also a sell-out of the highest degree.

I never understood why he didn't like Ainsley Harriot and Antony Worrall Thomson, now I do.

I remember back in the day when he had his first programme on TV and he was seen as a real fresh face, a break from the staged cheffery (tis a word I swear), he swore like you do when you're under pressure and if you fucked it up, he told you as much.

Then he got his other show, then he got famous.

I remember him saying back when he was unfamous that when he became famous he would never sell out and be in ads for certain cooking utensils and that he would never write any books like the two gentlemen mentioned above.

Seems to me that Gordy should have kept his mouth shut as this is exactly what he has done, I have seen him in an ad for a very masculine kitchen commodity..teacups. He has also released numerous cooking books and he still admonishes the two gentleman above (and many others) for doing the same.

Maybe next time Gordon, you should keep your mouth shut, but oh no, God forbid you do that as you are all about the showmanship, the "I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about me, I swear, I'm a hard man..who cooks".

His swearing might have been refreshing back in the day when cooking was full of politeness and Delia Smith and her cardigans but now his jig is up, it is clear to anyone who is human and above the age of 14 that he swears for effect, it is no longer believable, I liken his show to watching films like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, whereby a mockney writes something which he thinks is a true representation of gangster life, nobody, not even gangsters swear that much, it is so very clearly overly written and comical (thus, why I love these films so).

Gordon presents himself as such a hardman by the flagrant use of swearing, I think it is a cover for him being a sensitive man in reality. I have been watching the F Word as I have been forced to watch it and Gordon is unable to do the following "hard man" things:

• (I have waited an age to use a bullet point list so I feel I am justified in using one to get this point across)
• DIY, he couldn't even nail felt to a fucking roof and even I can fucking do that, and I'm a fucking girl! (see, I'm getting into Gordon mode)
• Shoot a deer, he acted the big man when it came time to do it and he even brought the carcass of a deer into his restaurant which, may I just point out must go against every single health and safety regulation there is. When it was time for action, he couldn't man up
• Other things shall be added once I remember or am reminded by Simon

Respect

I have a great deal of respect for certain people, there are two people in this world who I respect beyond everyone else, even though we do have our differences. These two people are my parents, it amazes me to see how far they have come from when they got married to where they are now, I am seriously in awe at all they have achieved, both in their private life and their professional achievements. They are the two people who remind me (even though they do not know it) that no matter how hard something is to do, there is always someone who is in a worse position than yourself and also that once you do this problematic "thing" you will realise that there is no limit to what you can do, and that from that point in, the sky is the limit.


Anyway, this isn't about them, this is about another person who I know and also love and respect greatly. I used to respect her beforehand but after what she has done recently, the respect I have for her has skyrocketed, she will never ever know how much I respect her for what she is doing and what a true fucking legend she is. To show the power of mind and body that she has shown in the adversity faced by her is truly amazing and I feel that lesser people would not be able to have done as she has done, I in fact know, that people faced with what she suffered from for 20 odd years would have just taken it like an idiot, but not her! This is why she commands so much respect from me, tis just a shame she will never know the high regards that I hold her in as words cannot express the respect I have for a person like her, what she has achieved in the past few months is a testament to women everywhere who think that they cannot rise up against the crap that they have to face on a daily basis because society will shun them. To those women I say FUCK SOCIETY, make yourself happy and only yourself, when the day of reckoning comes, you will be judged only on how YOU lived your life, not what society thought of you, why waste a lifetime doing what others want, waiting for the day to come when you can please yourself? You know that day will never come, life is truly for the living and live it for yourself and those you love. It doesn't matter if society thinks you're bringing shame on your family, who are they tell you what shame is and what shame is not? They aren't living back in India/Pakistan anymore, you move to a Western country and you integrate into the society. So, make yourself happy, if you are happy in your heart and those you love are happy, that is all that matters, if those around you (for whose opinions you do not care) do not like what you do, FUCK THEM. This is the single greatest problem within Indian/Pakistani families and cultures, you have to at all times think of the "honour" of the family, thus you take the beatings and the crap that your husband's family throw at you because if you DARE rise up and say you aren't going to take it anymore, you are seen as a outsider.

I truly believe in power to the people and that you really DO need to fight for your right to par-tay. Why should you live in fear of being beaten up because the "elders" think it is fine? There is reason that domestic abuse is a crime in this country, I know of instances where a husband has killed his wife whilst his parents sat around letting that happen, I would like to ask these elders one question, would you let your daughter take that kinda beating? NO, I didn't think so, so why is it OK for someone else's daughter to go through the same shit? One other thing I don't get about the old school Asian community at large, they look down on divorcees because they must have done something wrong. The prefer you to be married and getting beats and being unhappy, why is it acceptable for a husband to beat a woman infront of her children, yet it is not OK for the women to live alone and be safe? Those who judge people on face value should take a long hard look at themselves as it is people like them who legitimise women getting beatings, the women become too scared to leave because they are worried what society would say, to these women I say stand up for yourself, do what the superwoman mentioned above has done, break free from it! Society think it is fine to cast judgment on you, let them live ONE DAY in your life and they will soon change their minds.

Some people

Should really shut up if they don't wish to hear home truths.

Why are you being so brave when you KNOW that your own family ain't so perfect?

If I was you, I'd keep it zipped because someone could turn around and pick VALID faults about you.

Don't meddle in the business of other folk until your own life is perfect, idiot.

Funny how I am seen as being repressed by my parents because my hair is long and your hair is cut, stupid arse, maybe I am trying to grow it? And if I was you, I wouldn't be talking about being repressed, at least my parents allowed me out of the house when I was at uni. I shant type any more about YOU, as you personally aren't worth the effort.

Meh, live your life how you wish to live it and stop complaining about what I do. Do I complain about how other people run their affairs? No, because I have enough trouble trying to run my own, implicit in that is the fact that I do have affairs. Unlike you. Typical repressed Indian housewife acting like she has a life, must be a sad existence, haha, I would like to see how you would cope if you actually did have a life. "Let me shop from home because I'm rich and can't mix with the poor who shop in supermarkets", tis always those who show off the most that have something to hide.

God! Why was I born into a family where wankshaftery and dickheadness is the order of the day?

Why can't people just keep their traps shut and not cause problems for other people, what still gets me is how certain people have the cheek to spread shit about others and their own family situation is far from perfect, tis a lame attempt to curry favour with your own parents simply because you are unable to produce an heir, heh...your daughters will have a right time when they get older and realise that they are defect children, do you not think the outside world doesn't question why you have so many kids, none of whom can carry on your name? Heh, then you have the cheek to laugh at those who actually have kids to carry on their name, you keep on laughing, everyone knows the joke is on you.

There is one person who I respect immensly, she has well and truly fought for her right to party and I commend her for doing so, I only wish she had been stronger to do it before but I am so happy she has finally emancipated herself, she knows who she is and she also knows that I will love her for life, her and her gorgeous kids.

Global Warming

Anyone who knows me is fully aware of how I like to rant and rave about this issue.

Another thing that gets me is world poverty and giving money to charity.

Now I'm not a Scrooge, I give money where I feel it is justified to give money but what I do not agree with is celebrities making me feel bad and thus trying to illicit funds from me when they themselves aren't giving any money. I would like to ask Bob Geldof and Bono how much they contribute to charity from their own pockets, it's all well and good them staging events like Live Aid and bringing famine to our attention but I do not agree with them making me feel like it's my DUTY to give money when I can barely fend for myself. I would also like to know how much the celebs who do Comic Relief give from their own pockets, it is all well and good advocating a cause but how hypocritical is it to tell someone to do something that you aren't doing yourself?

Also, they want to hold a gig to raise awareness of the problems we are having with global warming, did they not stop to think how much excess global warmth is going to be produced with the usage of all the musical equipment? And how are people going to get to this gig? Are they going to walk? Hell no, they will get in their cars, on the busses or on the trains and that too will cause even more pollution.

Prince Charles also annoys me, gallavanting around the world in his private jet and yet lecturing us mere mortals on how we should plan for the future. I saw on the news how his wife forgot something at home when she went on holiday and had the object flown directly to where she was, and these people are telling ME how to be more environmentally friendly?

It's highly ironic how it is the celebrities who are giving US tips on how to be more environmentally friendly yet it is them who are traipsing around the world on private jets, how many of us normal folk have a private jet at our disposal? Why should we be forced to walk to places to "save the planet" when the celebs and those in high society are able to go by plane/chaffeur driven car. If anything, it should be us tube commuters who tell the celebs how to save energy. We work out guts out just to get enough money to pay the rent and eat, if we have a few pence left over at the end of the month why SHOULDN'T we be able to use that money to travel in cars etc.. Atleast the bulk of us spend our own money.

I don't understand how they think they are justified in telling us what to do, just because they are famous does not mean that we will listen to them, we aren't teenagers anymore.

While I'm on my standard Wednesday morning rant, I would also like to complain about the state of the Underground. A 1-6 (peak) travelcard now costs somewhere in the region of 13 English pounds. What great service do we get for 13 pounds? Utter bollocks. You have to stand because the trains are so packed, you literally boil to death as despite the steep increase in travelling prices, Ken Livingstone still thinks that tubes do not need air conditioning and the tracks are very uneven, so much so that even the slightest bit of speed from the driver shakes every single carriage and the noise, the noise on the bakerloo line is deafening, the train chugs along and a screeching sound is heard, a sound which makes my ears bleed, I would not be surprised if someone went deaf after travelling on the Bakerloo line.

My question to the "Mayor" is this: Every year for the past 10 or so years the price of travelling on the tube has increased yet we have seen absolutely NO changes, there are always adverts up about how track safety is taking place etc...but how about fixing other things which make the ride so deliciously comfortable? I don't believe the excuse that there is no money to do this as there must be a tonne of people in each carriage in the morning and they have all paid the price to travel on the tube so changes could be made but instead people want to be paid extra for doing nothing.

All the tube users should one day abandon the tube and see how much money is lost by tfl.

Bleh

I am pretty sure I wrote something before but it seems to have deleted itself.

Anywho, don't you hate doing shit you don't want to do?

Number one on my complaints list is going to see family who you don't even like.

E.g. today, I had to go and see my grandparents and they annoy me no end as they do not treat my father the way he deserves to be treated.

Anywho, I went because my parents>whatever anyone else says, and I know that the day I stop doing what they want me to, I command no respect from them.

So I went, it was the most boringest time everrrrrrrrrr.

My grandma sat there quietly talking to my aunt, everyone else was silent, then she started speaking to my other aunt who still cannot look me in the face (reasons may be explained later) and she asked the question she always asks "finished school now have you?" Stupid arse can't tell the difference between uni and school.

Anywho, everyone sat in silence, I was willing my Dad to get up and he finally did.

Man those 30 mins were the longest 30 mins of my life, totally sucked the life out of me, I would have been more comfortable petting spiders.